Who lives who dies who tells your story

– Hamilton

Lin Manuel Miranda’s second epic musical Hamilton is the perfect example of the use of narrative therapy that this post almost writes itself. But, for the sake of actually writing it I’ll explain.

Narrative therapy focuses on what it sounds like – our brains focus on the stories we tell ourselves. It’s actually a really cool evolutionary thing that happens when our brains don’t fully understand what’s happening, we will tell ourselves stories to fill in the gap. In children, these stories get fantastical at times. For instance, when I was like 3 or 4, my dad sold our old car to someone. What my brain heard and the story I told myself for years was that someone stole the old car. Now to give my itty bitty self some grace, sold and stole sound very similar. But you can understand how these are two very different scenarios and the impact thinking the car was stolen could have on a young kid.

Spoiler alert – this doesn’t go away as we grow up. The stories we tell ourselves may not be as fantasy-based as the ones we told ourselves as kids, but they can get just as scary. The narrative of “this always happens to me” or “I just can’t do anything right” can be just as scary as someone stealing your car. And oftentimes just as inaccurate as a car being sold instead of stolen.

Why do you write like you’re running out of time? Write day and night like you’re running out of time? Every day you fight, like you’re running out of time. Keep on fighting in the meantime (Non-stop!)

-Hamilton

Aside from Non-Stop being my favorite song in the entire musical, it’s also completely on the nose for the point I’m making. So Alexander’s narrative is that he needs to leave a legacy and he goes full tilt at it for decades, bulldozing anybody who gets in his way. The narratives we tell ourselves directly impact our behaviors (hello Cognitive Behavioral Theory – I see you lurking there) and as such, if our narrative is slightly off (or WAY off…) it can impact how we interact with the world and not always in a good way.

BUT the good news is, just like CBT, we can rewrite our stories, review and revise them after we take a good look at where the story came from and whether it is actually accurate or not. I love narrative therapy because it is so empowering – it gives you the agency to change your story – literally (or I guess figuratively?) change the narrative you’re acting on and in doing so, change your life. It’s just *chef’s kiss* the best.

So review your stories, make adjustments when needed, and don’t throw away your shot.