The Avett Brothers wrote a beautiful song “Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promises” and it goes as follows

There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light
In the fine print they tell me what’s wrong and what’s right
And it comes in black and it comes in white
And I’m frightened by those that don’t see it

When nothing is owed or deserved or expected
And your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected
If you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected
Decide what to be and go be it

There was a dream and one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in
And demanded that somebody free it
And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I’ll scream ’til I die
And the last of those bad thoughts are finally out
…
There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light
In the fine print they tell me what’s wrong and what’s right
There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light
And I’m frightened by those who don’t see it

I have felt this song as both a mirror and a battle cry when I’m anxious or in a low mood. The two verses that stay in my mind are “Decide what to be and go be it” and “I’ll scream ’til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out.”

Last week, I had a regression in my anxiety – with the anxiety monster completely busting out of the box I had coaxed it into a year ago – breaking the box in the process. I needed to completely rebuild it. I was so ANGRY with myself for this happening. I felt like I had failed in some way. This feeling was worse than the anxiety itself and threatened to turn into a full on shame spiral.

However, I was reminded that while my anxiety is not a choice, my reaction to it is. So, I took a new approach. “Decide what to be and go be it.” I thanked my anxiety for trying to protect me. I reassured myself that I was in fact just fine. And I made the conscious choice to move forward until “the last of those bad thoughts are finally out.” Clean slate.

There is a lot of conversation in the psychological community about the power of intent and mindset. There’s quite a lot of data to back up the “fake it til you make it” mindset – that attitude matters. Even though anxiety and depression feel like they control us and often makes those who experience these moods feel powerless, we actually have a lot more say in the matter than we think. Side note – sometimes we don’t have the coping skills, support systems, or disposition to be able to accomplish what I’m about to say, and in those cases, more intensive therapy and medication are absolutely a fine interventions and often necessary. It’s like the difference between an injury requiring a bandaid versus an injury requiring stitches or surgery. It’s a matter of severity.

That being said, mindset and reaction to anxiety episodes or depressive episodes actually have more impact than you might think. Being able to name your anxiety or depression – I call mine the anxiety monster, she’s hot pink, and looks like a spikey “little miss” character mixed with a puff ball/virus – being able to name it and conceptualize it as it’s own entity actually allows our brain to process it as well. It’s like shining a light in the closet to realize there’s no monsters in there. Our brains are so imaginative and creative, that we can create fantastic (and often terrifying) stories and scenarios. So, we often need to actively change those stories, and a mindset shift may actually be all that’s needed to change it. (Again, depending on severity – sometimes with the help of a therapist).

There’s a danger in saying “positive mindset can fix all your problems” – google toxic positivity. I’m NOT suggesting that. However, you may be surprised to see just how much a changed mindset can actually change your mood as well.

“Decide what to be and go be it” and be gentle with yourself when (not if – when) you hit bumps along the way. You’ve got this.